Girls Have More Fun
by Katsuki Shizenno
Summary: On boring Akatsuki days I invite friends over to have fun. We call it fun; the male members call it torture. Discontinued because I'm writing a *hopefully* bigger related fic.
1. Kiddy with a Need for Fun

_**I do not own Naruto, but the OCs Katsuki Shizenno, Sunagakure no Rekkami, Mimiko Kawaii and Sasazuka Yumeno belong to me. Also Kitora Neko aka Kiddy is property of my friend Kiddy-Cookie-Chan. **_

It was another boring day in the Akatsuki HQ. It was raining outside, there were no missions and absolutely nothing to do. Usually on days like these I'd curl up with a good Clique or Frenemies novel or a volume of Fruits Basket or Kare Kano, but I hadn't been to the bookstore or the library due to Deidara and Tobi's meddling in my daily business.

Then I had a brilliant idea. I'd call one of my friends over.

I turned on my cell phone. I knew exactly who to call. I laughed a little.

This would be great.

An hour later a loud thumping noise came from the door.

"Let me in!" it screamed. "I'm all wet, nya!"

I ran into the foyer.

"What's that noise?" Pein asked, coming up behind me.

"A friend," I said, calmly.

"Friend?"

"Yup."

"Open, open, nyaaa!" the voice whined again.

I unlocked the door and let the knocking person in.

The person stepped in.

She had purple hair and eyes, and brown cat ears and tail.

"Kiddy," I said, gleefully.

"Katsuki-chan!" she smiled.

She hugged my waist.

Kiddy had the body of a 8-year-old but was really 18.

All the other members, hearing the racket, came to see what was going on.

"Oh no!" they all gasped at once.

"You're one of Katsu-chan's psycho friends, un!" Deidara exclaimed. "Run for your lives! Forget all dignity!"

Sasori grabbed Deidara before he could run away.

Then my three roommates walked into the foyer.

"Alright," Rekkami groaned. "What's all this racket?"

"Ooh, lookie!" Mimiko exclaimed. "A new friend!"

"Well what do you know," Sasazuka said.

"This is Kitora Neko aka Kiddy," I smiled.

"Hiyaz," Kiddy grinned.

She looked at Itachi.

"Yay!" she beamed. "Itachi!"

She glomped him and held on tight. Itachi's nonchalant countenance changed for a moment: his eyebrow twitched.

She turned and grinned at Pein, blowing him a kiss.

Pein shivered and cast an annoyed look at me.

"Should we all go to the living room?" I asked.

"That would be fine," Itachi said coolly, twitching again.

We sat in the living room a while, speaking of things Kiddy and I had done before.

Kiddy snuggled over to Itachi.

"Rawr!" she exclaimed.

Itachi's arm twitched.

"Oh no," Hidan groaned. "Here we go again."

"What?" Mimiko asked.

"She's bored," I explained.

"Rawr!" Kiddy repeated.

"Hey, Kiddy," I said. "Let's have fun."

"Huh? How?"

"Watch."

I went outside for a moment.

Everyone sat, quietly.

I came back with a bag of bugs.

"What are chu gonna do with that?" Kiddy asked.

I just grinned, gave my roommates a signal that things were about to get dangerous and dumped the bugs on the other members.

"Have fun guys!" I teased. "We've got grubs, worms, snails, grasshoppers, spiders, ants and, of course, termites!"

As soon as I said "termites" Sasori screamed like a little girl and ran around in circles repeatedly.

"Get them off!" he screeched. "Oh my gawsh! Get them off!"

"Sasori!" Hidan yelled. "Great Jashin, they're gone!"

"See, Kiddy?" I asked.

"Yeah!" she cheered.

She went outside and got some lizards and non-venomous snakes and let them loose, laughing her "kehehehe" laugh. She jumped up and down and clapped her hands.

Konan ran to us.

"Can I--?" she began.

"Sure," we said.

"Girls have more fun," Rekka said proudly.

Some ants crawled up Hidan's leg and he began to jump around, frantically trying to get them off.

He fell on Kakuzu who fell to the ground scaring a lizard. The lizard was about to climb up on Kisame so he whacked his Samaheda down. It jumped out of the way.

Kisame swung repeatedly at it and ended up whacking poor Itachi, first in the head and then…in a bad place.

Itachi fell to the ground, obviously in pain; Kisame was repeatedly apologizing to him.

A snake slithered over Deidara's foot.

He screeched and jumped in Tobi's arms.

Zetsu was actually fighting with himself over running from a snake or not. Pein was trying to pull the grubs, snails and worms off of him and dry-heaved when one ran by his mouth.

In short, for a while, there was complete chaos for the boys and us girls watched happily.

In the end, us girls gathered all the critters and threw them out.

"So, was that fun, Kiddy?" I asked.

"Yesh!" she clapped.

She turned to the boy members, grinned a cat-like grin and said, "Chu guys got…err, punk'd."

Zetsu sat on the floor, fuming. Kisame was bent over Itachi, trying to see if he was okay. Deidara and Tobi were hugging each other in fear.

Kakuzu was groaning about Hidan's stupidity, scratching a few ant bites, while Hidan lay on the floor, scratching, covered in bites.

Pein retched on the floor and then began moaning about a worm crawling into his mouth.

Poor Sasori was curled up in a fetal position in a corner.

Just then, a teenage boy with jet-black hair, blood-red eyes, two bottom-liprings and goth/punk clothes walked in the door from his mission. My boyfriend, Izuru Yuuta.

"What's going on?" he asked. "Katsuki. You pranked them again, didn't you?"

I smiled; he grinned back and ruffled my hair.

"I'll go get the bug bite ointment," Sasazuka said, nonchalantly.

"I'll get a ice pack," Mimiko smiled.

"I'll go get Itachi!" Kiddy cheered.

She ran and kneeled beside him, putting his head in her lap.

"Itachi got punk'd," she teased him.

Itachi just groaned.

I walked over to Sasori.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"T-termites," he shuddered.

"No termites. It's okay."

"T-termites."

"No, no termites."

I patted his head and went to walk away.

He grabbed onto my waist and whimpered.

I sighed and then grinned. A normal day of pranks.

* * *

Preview: Next time I invite my super violent, death-reaper friend over. Nothing but more trouble for the boys. ;)

* * *

_**A/N: Thanks for reading. X) There are pics of my OCs at the very bottom of my profile and pics of the other featured OCs under this story's title. **_


	2. Sugar High Gothic

_**I do not own Naruto, but the OCs Katsuki Shizenno, Sunagakure no Rekkami, Mimiko Kawaii and Sasazuka Yumeno belong to me. Also Takai Karite aka Gothic is property of Gothicangel0827. **_

I sighed as I looked up at the ceiling from the sofa in the Akatsuki HQ living room. Another one of those days with nothing to do.

I thought to myself. _Time to invite another friend over._

Oh well.

I turned on my cell phone.

"Uh-oh," Izuru grinned, sitting down next to me. "Cell phone alert. Who ya calling?"

I grinned back at him.

"A friend."

He peeped over my shoulder to see the screen of my cell.

"Katsu-chan," he said. "If you let her in, I doubt anyone will talk to you for a month."

"Chillax," I replied. "I'm going to tell her to be calm."

"Okay," Izuru shrugged.

A little while after the call we heard a thump.

We looked out in the "backyard" to see a girl with white hair, red eyes and angel wings which disapeared.

We went outside and I offered my hand.

"Yo, Gothic," I greeted.

"Hi!" she said, hugging me. "Yay, Katsu-chan. Hi, Izuru-kun."

"Hey, Takai-tan," Izuru returned.

Gothic's real name was Takai Karite.

"So what're we doing?" Gothic asked.

"I dunno," I answered. "I didn't plan anything."

"Okay. Let's just beat up the boys then."

Izuru chuckled and I smiled.

"Fine then," I said. "But no termites."

"Termites?"

"Ask Kiddy."

"Kiddy was here?"

"Never mind, call her later."

"Otay. Where's Hidan?"

"Hmm, him already?"

She nodded.

"Fine. In his room."

We walked down the hall to Kakuzu and Hidan's room.

Gothic burst in without knocking.

Hidan was in the middle of a ritual, cutting his arms, and Kakuzu was counting his newly raided money.

"I BE BACK!" Gothic thundered.

"Who the [censored] is that?!" Hidan demanded.

He turned around, gasped and then slowly began to back against the wall.

"Hidan," Gothic purred.

Hidan hid behind Kakuzu.

Kakuzu gave him a puzzled look.

"Help me," Hidan whined.

"Hidan, I missed you!" Gothic screeched as she glomped him. "Time to play beat the hottie!"

She pulled out her scythe and cut off Hidan's head.

"Catch, Katsu-chan!" she called, throwing his head to me.

"OMG, no!" I yelled, dodging. "Not my new dress!"

Izuru caught him instead.

"Throw it back!" Gothic called.

"Fine," Izuru agreed. "Sorry Hidan."

Izuru threw it and Gothic jumped up on the desk Kakuzu was sitting at to catch Hidan's screaming head. Money flew everywhere.

Kakuzu was furious.

"Why you--!" he shouted.

But that's all he got to say before Gothic dropped Hidan's head and kicked Kakuzu where no man should be kicked.

Kakuzu fell to the ground beside Hidan's head.

"Good-bye!" Gothic crooned as she strutted out the door.

"Let's go see Deidara and Tobi!" Gothic cheered once we were in the hallway.

She ran down the hall to their room, dragging me, and, once again, burst in without knocking.

"I here!" she announced. "I have fun now."

Deidara screamed like a little girl and jumped into Tobi's arms again.

Gothic laughed and looked at Deidara menacingly.

"Can I have some bombs?" she asked.

"No, un," Deidara shuddered.

"Yesh, un," Gothic mocked.

She grabbed some.

"What is Takai-san gonna do with those?" Tobi asked, innocently.

He put Deidara down.

"Senpai is heavy," he remarked.

Deidara sighed.

"I gonna do this," Gothic replied.

She blew them up right there, grabbed Izuru and I, and ran out.

We heard "ahh!" as we made our escape.

"To Zetsu!" she yelled.

She burst in.

Zetsu's white side screeched and his black side glared.

Gothic pulled out some plant clippers.

"Time to die!" she grinned.

Zetsu ran around in circles until he bumped into a wall and knocked himself out.

"That was easy," she said, astonished. "To Itachi and Kisame!"

She ran to their room.

"Hi guys!" she said.

Kisame jumped and Itachi looked at her with a fixed glare.

"Hey, Kisame," Gothic said. "Would you move closer to Itachi for a second?"

"U-um...," Kisame stuttered.

Gothic glared at him, menacingly.

Kisame hurriedly moved closer to Itachi.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

Gothic pulled out a bowl of Shark Fin Soup.

Kisame screamed at the top of his lungs and fainted, right on top of Itachi. An "oof" was heard as Kisame squished poor Itachi.

Gothic laughed maniacly and ran to Sasori's room.

"Hey Sasori," she said.

Sasori practically jumped out of his wooden skin and stared wide eyed at the visitor.

"Hi, Sasori," I said.

Gothic walked up to him.

He ran and grabbed on to me.

"N-no more termites," he trembled. "No, no."

"It's okay Sasori," I said, patting his head.

"What again, about these termites?" Gothic demanded.

"Call Kiddy."

"Fine, later."

She stormed down the hall to Pein's room, a wild look in her eyes.

I grabbed her.

"Hey!" she snapped.

"Are you crazy?!" I asked. "Don't prank Pein!"

"Oh, c'mon."

"I told you about going overboard."

"No, no, no!"

She tried to scramble out of my grasp before suddenly collapsing into my arms.

I twitched and glanced at Izuru.

"She was on sugar high?" I pondered.

"Probably," Izuru answered. "This usually happens when she is."

I giggled.

"Let's go lay her down."

During all that, Pein was at his desk, drinking a latte with Konan.

* * *

Preview: Next time: My super sadistic friend and her bf make their appearance. She loves chainsaws, ghosts, and torture. This should be fun. XD

* * *

_**A/N: Thanks for reading. X) There are pics of my OCs at the very bottom of my profile and pics of the other featured OCs under this story's title. **_


	3. Kumi and Dress Up

**__**

I do not own Naruto, but the OCs Katsuki Shizenno, Sunagakure no Rekkami, Mimiko Kawaii and Sasazuka Yumeno belong to me. Also Kumi Akatmatsu Moonstone and Alexander belong to Kumi Akatmatsu Moonstone.

A/N: When Kumi says "tweet" it means "sweet" as in, she's happy about something. Kumi will probably get most of the jokes in here...I hope. X)

It was Friday and I was sitting on the sofa, alone, reading Nintendo Power magazine. Gothic had just left yesterday and I decided I should call my friends over more often. Maybe once or twice a week. Well, who should I call today? I snapped my fingers as an idea hit me. I knew exactly who I'd call. As I dialed her number, Izuru walked by.

He stopped in his tracks.

"Oh no, Katsuki," he said. "No, no, no, _no_."

"Oh, c'mon," I said. "She's my friend."

"Katsuki, you very well know how I feel about her."

"Izuru."

"Sweetie."

"C'mon. _Please_!"

"Ugh! Fine. But…ugh!"

Two minutes after I called her a cloud of black dust appeared in the room.

When the dust cleared, there stood a girl with crystal blue hair and red eyes and a boy with moonlight silver hair and blue eyes with a lipring appeared.

Kumi Akatmatsu Moonstone and her boyfriend Alexander.

"Hi guys," I grinned.

"Hi," Kumi greeted.

Izuru just stood, his arms crossed.

"That's mean, Izuru," I remarked. "Say hi."

"Hey, Kumi," Izuru mumbled.

"You really don't like me, do you?" Kumi asked.

"No."

"Tweet."

Izuru rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall.

"Dinner's soon," I told Kumi. "Do you want to come?"

"Sure," Kumi replied, grinning malevolently.

About 30 minutes later…

"So why is she here again?" Hidan asked.

"I called her," I answered, flatly.

"She's evil," Kakuzu stated, matter-of-factly.

I rolled my eyes.

"Tweet, tweet," Kumi said, again. "Hey, Hidan. Go get me some blood."

"What?" Hidan asked, in disbelief.

"You know me."

"No."

"I also know many secrets that you wouldn't want to be kno--"

"I'm going."

Kumi grinned.

She said another of her usual 'tweets' and resumed eating.

A little while later, Hidan returned with a cup of blood.

"Here," he said, annoyed.

Kumi poured it on the floor.

Hidan was furious.

"Do you have any idea what I had to do to get that?!" he screeched.

"Yes," Kumi replied. "I decided to treat myself tonight."

Kumi pulled out a chainsaw and turned it on.

"C'mere Hidan," she grinned.

"Uh-oh," Hidan groaned.

He ran down the halls, Kumi chasing him. He pretty much screamed like a girl the whole time, which was only five minutes. By then she'd dismembered him and was back at the table, eating and drinking…stuff.

After dinner we all sat in the living room. Deidara and Tobi were looking at Ichigo Mashimaro, Konan was engaged in her origami, Pein was looking through important documents and Kakuzu was sewing Hidan back , Kisame, Zetsu, Sasori, Mimiko, Rekkami and Sasazuka were have a debate and Izuru and Alexander were talking. Kumi bent over towards me from next to me on the couch.

"I wanna have some fun," she said, innocently, mock pouting.

"Well, what do you want to do?" I asked.

"Mmm…play a game."

"Okay."

"Tweet!"

Kumi ran, turned off the TV and yelled, "Stop everyone!"

Then she smiled.

"It's game time!"

All the boys groaned.

"We're playing DRESS UP!" Kumi cheered.

The boys' jaws dropped.

"Alright girls," Kumi instructed. "Go find any dresses, make-up and glitter you can find. Alexander, you're free."

"Kumi," I warned.

"Okay. Izuru too."

"Crud Kumi," Izuru groaned, as he left with Alexander.

Once us girls had gathered all the things we needed we studied the shuddering boys.

"First is Sasori," Kumi decided.

Sasori looked at her with a malevolent look which she returned and made him shudder. She pulled out a white Lolita dress with lace all over it and forced him into it.

"Katsuki, do the make up," she ordered.

"Nooooooooooo!" Sasori screamed.

Then Kumi tackled Hidan, trying to force a bright pink Lolita dress onto him, with bright pink bows.

"Stop!" he screamed, as Kumi forced the dress on him.

"No, no, no," he shuddered. "Too much pink."

He began to cry, and fell into a fetal position.

"Do we have any of that stuff from last time and where are those watermelons?" Kumi asked me, as she was struggling to get a kimono on a fighting Kakuzu. (She was planning on making him Tsunade.)

"Yeah," I replied. "For who?"

"Kisame, Tobi and Zetsu, white side only."

"Okay."

I used the serum on them. It makes you completely girly. I threw a fairy princess dress on Kisame and a black diva dress on Tobi. Zetsu got a Cinderella dress with a lot of glitter.

"Like OMG, what did you do?!" Kisame yelled. "Eep! OMG, why am I, like, talking like this?"

"OMG, OMG, I love that dress," Zetsu white side said.

"No," Zetsu's black side said. "It sucks. We are _boys_."

"OMG. How mean."

"Shut up!"

"Tobi looks really, pretty," Tobi cheered. "OMG, yay!"

Kumi decided to dress Deidara up as Hannah Montana; Deidara fainted.

Mimiko started chasing Itachi around with a maid dress.

"Come back, Itachi-chan!" she yelled.

For the first time, Itachi looked frightened.

I laughed as I curled Hidan's hair. Hidan was still crying in a fetal position which made it very easy.

Sasazuka and Konan were pleading with Pein to put on a glittery, black tube top and a mini skirt to match and Rekkami was finishing everyone's make up.

Once we finally had all the boys (excluding our boyfriends) dressed up, we dressed ourselves up and admired our work. Izuru and Alexander went on the back porch to talk.

"This was pretty fun, actually," Konan mused.

The rest of us nodded.

"She's evil," Kakuzu said.

"Truly," Zetsu's black side agreed.

"Cheese," Kumi said.

Kakuzu and Zetsu's black side gave a puzzled look.

"What?" Rekkami asked.

"Don't ask," I replied, smiling. "That's just Kumi."

* * *

Preview: Next time my friend comes over to give my little game a try. She's new to it, but she's got a lot of ideas. ;D

* * *

_**Thanks for reading, people! XD Credit for some of the dress up ideas goes to my friend Kakashi Forever. **_

_**~Katsuki Shizenno**_


	4. Meco with a Plan

**__**

I do not own Naruto, but the OCs Katsuki Shizenno, Sunagakure no Rekkami, Mimiko Kawaii and Sasazuka Yumeno belong to me. Also Meco belongs to Meco45.

A/N: Slight PeinKonan ahead everybody. Other than that, no pairings intended and NO yaoi or yuri.

It was Saturday. I was extremely bored. I stared at my cell phone and sighed. Kiddy was busy with her family shopping, Gothic was on a mission and Kumi was on a romantic trip with Alexander. Suddenly, my phone beeped.

I hurriedly picked it up.

I had gotten a text.

**Hi, Katsu-chan. What r u doing?**

**....................................................................**

**Can u come over?**

**....................................................................**

**What? Y?**

**....................................................................**

**Please. T^T**

**....................................................................**

**Okz.**

**....................................................................**

She was new to my game of torture but I was sure she would do fine.

A little while later I heard a knock on the door.

"Yay!" I cheered, running to open it.

"Uh-oh," Izuru said, noticing me. "Please don't tell me you called Kumi."

"No."

I opened the door to see a girl with navy blue hair with white streaks in two buns. This was unusual since she usually wears it in a loose ponytail. Her eye color was hazel.

"Meco-chi!" I glomped her.

"Katsu-pyon!" she glomped me back.

"Oh, it's Meco-chan," Izuru said. "Whassup? I was afraid you were Kumi."

"You really don't like Kumi, do you Izuru-kun?" Meco asked.

"No. Not at all."

We both blinked and watched Izuru walk away.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"To read Generation Dead."

I shivered. Even though I didn't like horrors that much Izuru loved them.

"Okay," I said. "Have fun. C'mon Meco-chi."

I took her into the kitchen.

"What are we do--" Meco started. "Ooh! Is there any cake in the fridge?"

"Sure," I gave her a slice of strawberry shortcake Mimiko and I had made.

"So whaf are whe doin'?" Meco asked, her mouth full of cake.

"We're gonna play torture."

"Torture? Is thaf thaf fuhnny game Gothic was tahlking about?"

"Yep."

"Oh." Meco swallowed. "What do I do then? I've never done it before and Gothic said she played catch with Hidan's head. Kumi mentioned something about dress up. It sounds like you guys already did all the fun stuff."

"Not necessarily…" I said, grinning. "It just takes thought."

Meco sat there for a while.

"How about playing questionnaire?" she asked, finally.

"What?" I squinted.

"C'mon. I'll show you."

Meco grabbed my hand, led me to Sasori's room and knocked on the door.

Sasori opened it, cautiously.

I presumed he had heard us and thought it was one of the other girls, but when he saw Meco he relaxed.

"Oh, it's just you." he smiled. "What's going on."

Meco pulled out a pen and a pad.

"I want you to answer a few questions."

"Um, okay I guess," Sasori said.

"Number 1: Why didn't you want to grow up?" she asked.

"I dunno."

"Were you mentally disturbed?"

"No."

"Self-destructive?"

"No."

"You were afraid that ladies would stop drooling over you?"

"Uh, um, n-no."

"Oh, so you are a ladies' man?"

"No."

"You're gay?!"

"NO!"

"So what if I gave you a picture of Lady Tsunade and a totally skimpy string-bikini?"

Just then Sasori got a massive nosebleed and shut the door in our faces.

Meco giggled.

"I'z do good?"

"Sweetie, you went beyond." I put my arm around her. "Let's brainstorm some more questions and torture the boys. Except for my baby."

"You mean Izuru?"

"Of course."

A little while later we were at Zetsu's door.

"Alright," I said. "Here we go."

We knocked.

"Yeah," Zetsu opened the door.

"We're here to ask you a few questions," Meco said.

"I'm not participating," Zetsu's black side said, bluntly.

"Don't turn her down," Zetsu's white side disagreed. "They're just trying to have some fun."

"Please," we pleaded in our cutest voices.

"Fine," Zetsu's black side said.

"Yay!" Meco cheered. "Okay. Number 1: Why did you revert to cannibalism?"

"It's in our blood," Zetsu's white side replied.

"Fairies taste quite good, y'know," Zetsu's black side said.

"You ate a fairy?" Meco's eyes began to well up.

"It was just a--"

"A poor innocent being!"

"Meco-chan, I'm just kid--"

"So mean!"

Meco began to whack him with her notepad.

"You should be ashamed of yourself!" she yelled.

"Agh!" both sides yelled as Meco began to claw him. "Cut it out!"

"Meco-chi!" I yelled. "Meco! He was kidding!"

Meco stopped abruptly; Zetsu looked angry as possible.

"Um, oh," Meco stuttered. "Question 2: How did your parents react to your birth?"

"What?!" black Zetsu snapped.

"Well some people hate having twins and you turned out to be a plant too, so--"

"You're dead meat!"

Zetsu charged towards us.

Meco hid behind me, as she usually did.

I knocked him out.

Meco looked at me with a frightful expression.

"I don't think his parents liked him that much," I said.

Meco's face softened and we both laughed.

"Okay, let's go see Deidara and Tobi."

_A few seconds later, in Deidara and Tobi's room…_

"Okay," I said. "So you guys agree to answer our questions?"

"Sure, un," Deidara said.

Tobi nodded rapidly.

"Okay," Meco said. "Question 1: Deidara-kun, are you _really_ a boy?"

"Duh, un!" Deidara said.

"Question 2: Tobi-kun, do you think Deidara is a boy?"

"Tobi isn't sure," Tobi put his finger to his chin. "Tobi is confused because senpai talks like a boy but when Kumi-san came over, he looked kind of happy to be dressed up. He fainted."

Deidara blushed bright red, glaring.

"I wasn't happy, baka, un," Deidara scowled.

"Then why did senpai faint?" Tobi asked, innocently.

"It's…complicated, un."

"Question 3: Why do you idolize Britney Spears, Deidara?" Meco asked.

"I don't, un," Deidara growled.

"Yes you do," I turned on his stereo blasting "Hit Me, Baby, One More Time" on full volume.

No, un!" he screeched.

He ran and turned it off.

"Don't touch my Britney, unnn!"

I touched a CD.

Deidara fainted.

"Well, that was enough info for twenty blackmails," I grinned. "C'mon Meco-chi."

A little while later we were sitting on Kakuzu's bed.

"Okay, peoples," I said. "Question 1: Kakuzu, most guys your age read dirty magazines. How many Sports Illustrated copies do you have?"

"None," Kakuzu glared. "Why?"

"That's not true," Hidan said. "You've been subscribing for two years, now."

Kakuzu blushed.

"No, _Hidan_, I haven't."

"Go look in the closet ladies," Hidan smiled.

We did and almost squealed at the horrid array of dirty magazines.

"Um, that was a bit too much," I said, twitching.

"Um, o-okay--" Meco stuttered. "Question 2: If the both of you were to list each other's good points, what would they be?"

"Good points?" they asked in unison.

"He doesn't have any," Kakuzu gestured towards Hidan.

"Neither does this baka," Hidan gestured towards Kakuzu.

"Oh, _c'mon_!" I said, crossing my arms. "Just try to answer the stupid question!"

"Fine," they both groaned.

"Let's see," Hidan looked up at the ceiling, thinking. "I suppose it would be…that he can sew back on the parts I lose…I guess."

"I have much better good points, Hidan," Kakuzu glared.

"Oh, really?"

"Never mind it, baka. Okay. Hidan's good points…he's attractive."

"WHAT?!"

Meco and I exchanged glances.

"He's attractive?" Meco finally asked.

"And why is that a good point?" I asked.

"Because," Kakuzu answered. "He's always, yelling, complaining, fighting or just being annoying. What good would it be if he was ugly too?"

"And so, he's attractive?" I asked.

"Well, I didn't want to say pretty."

"Why would you?" Meco asked.

"Because," Kakuzu crossed his arms. "He's definitely not handsome. He's got a more feminine appearance."

"Feminine?!" Hidan's was staring furiously.

"Okay…," Meco said. "But feminine?"

"Meco-chan," Kakuzu gave a sly grin. "For all we know, on those days that he's irritable he may be PMS-ing."

Meco and I laughed our heads off.

"Okay, we need to leave," I giggled. "We're going to laugh our guts out."

Hidan was sitting in the corner, hugging his knees.

"I hate you," he whispered.

We smiled and left.

Next we headed for Itachi and Kisame's room.

The door was already open so we walked right in.

Kisame and Itachi were working on their weapons.

"Hi guys," we grinned. "Can you answer a few questions for us?"

"Sure," Itachi said.

"Um, yeah," Kisame blushed.

Kisame had a innocent-school-boy-type crush on Meco.

"Okay, Question 1: Itachi, are you dead?" Meco asked.

"No," Itachi said, nonchalantly.

"Then why do you show no emotion? It's as if you're zombi-fyied."

"What do you mean?"

"Like you just did. No emotion."

"I did show emotion."

"No you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

Itachi sighed.

"OMG, you sighed!"

"Is that so amazing?"

"You're so boring."

"Okay?"

Meco narrowed her eyes.

"Okay, Kisame," Meco said. "Question 2: Do you think Hidan goes through PMS?"

Kisame chuckled. "Duh."

"Wow. I can't believe you said that."

"Oh, it's that bad?" I asked.

"Yes," Kisame replied. "I'm sure Deidara does too. But I'm not really sure if he's really a boy…"

"Okay…Question 3: Does Itachi's nonchalance annoy you?"

"Not really."

"I'm impressed."

"After you've dealt with annoying loud mouths, say for instance, Suigetsu, Hidan and Tobi, you learn to appreciate Itachi's attitude. Of course, he's not always nonchalant, but I'm not spilling the rest of the story."

"Okay," Meco smiled. "Thank you for your time, Kisame. We have one last stop."

_Later, in Pein's office..._

Pein sat at his desk, looking at us, imploringly, and Konan stood by it.

"So these questions are not too deep, are they?" Pein asked.

"No," we answered. "We won't try to dig into your past or anything, Leader-sama."

"Okay, then. What are the questions?"

Meco stepped forward. "Um, Question 1: How do you feel about Konan?"

"She's a great partner," Pein answered. "Very kind."

Konan blushed a little.

"Question 2: What do you and Konan do when you're alone?" I asked.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Pein stuttered.

"Do you two, I dunno, make out?"

"N-no!" Pein yelled.

Konan looked like a red tomato.

"Are you sure?" Meco asked, slyly.

"Y-yes," Pein answered.

"You don't sleep in the same room, do you?"

"Meco!"

"Yikes!"

Meco hid behind me again.

"Leave!" Pein yelled.

I jumped, grabbed Meco's hand and we ran to the kitchen.

A little while later, Meco and I were sitting at the table with a tub of Three Berry ice cream, eating away.

"I'z do good?" Meco asked.

"Yeah," I grinned. "Extremely good. That was fun!"

I figured there were many more fun times to come.

* * *

Preview: Next time my friend who is a major Deidara fangirl and pretty good at torture comes over.

* * *

_**Thanks for reading, people! XD Credit for the PMS-ing idea is from a how to annoy the Akatsuki fic I read. I wish I could remember which one. T^T The "attractive" joke was spawned by Ice-Eagle Y'siri's fic "This Just Isn't My Day." :) **_

_**~Katsuki Shizenno**_


	5. Sapphire and Dare

**_I do not own Naruto but I DO own all the OC excluding Sapphire. Sapphire is owned by Sapphire X Dreams._**

It was another boring day.  
I was sitting in the living room of Akatsuki HQ, staring at the ceiling.  
Izuru walked through the living room, headed for the kitchen.  
I sighed.  
Izuru kept walking.  
I sighed louder.  
He stopped and turned to look at me. "What is it Katsuki?"  
"I am so bored," I groaned.  
"Well what would you consider fun right now?"  
"Well…Kumi and Gothic both texted me last night. They said they wanted to come over and--"  
"No."  
"Izuru--"  
"No. No. And no."  
I frowned.  
"You have a lot of other friends, don't you?"  
"Izuru! Meco-chi is busy with a mission. Kiddy is only moderately sane and also busy."  
"Sapphire-san?"  
"Sa--I forgot about Sapphire-chan!"  
"I'm sure there are a million others you forgot about. Just because they're not as close to HQ doesn't mean--"  
"Thanks Izuru!" I gave him a kiss and ran off to look in my phone-book for Sapphire's cell number. There it was! I dialed rapidly.  
After a few rings a "Hello?" came from the other line.  
"Sapphire!" I said giddily.  
"Katsuki-chan?"  
"Hai! Can you come over?"  
"Why?"  
"I'm bored."  
"But I can't help you with that. I'm boring myself--"  
"Deidara's here."  
"See you in a few hours!"  
Sapphire hung up quickly; Sapphire, the major Deidara fangirl, hung up quickly.  
I laughed to myself and went to prepare some snacks.

* * *

A few hours later…

There was a knock at the door.  
I hurried to answer it.  
Sure enough, Sapphire was at the door.  
You could never mistaken the crystal-blue-haired, blue-eyed girl for anyone else if you tried. Against her light peach skin, her hair is striking.  
"Sapphire-chan!" I hugged her tight.  
"Katsuki-chan!" she hugged me back.  
Slowly, the Akatsuki gathered near the door with surprised faces.  
Sapphire's eyes moved quickly over the group and found exactly what she came for.  
"Deidara!" She squealed and glomped him.  
Deidara hit the floor hard.  
He was out cold.  
"Oh wow," I mused. "One down already?"  
Sapphire's face saddened. "Oopsie."  
"S'okay, Sapphire-chan. He'll get up eventually."  
"Okay. So Miss Boring is here. What do I do now?"  
"Wanna play?"  
"Play?"  
All the boy members gasped and ran away--well, except Deidara. Tobi dragged him away. Izuru also stayed behind.  
"Let's play torture," I grinned, sadistically.  
No's were heard from all the rooms.  
"What's that?" Sapphire asked.  
"It's when we torture all the boy members," I explained. "It's fun!"  
"Oh, I see! Okay! What do we do first?"  
"First we need an idea."  
"I'm not participating," Izuru said as he left for his room.  
"Ooh!" Mimiko squealed. "You told us Sapphire-san was really good at this thing called dare. You said the girls and you used to play it."  
Sapphire's eyes lit up. "Oh, it's been a while since we played that."  
"It's settled then," I said and then turned to tell the other girls the rules.

* * *

A Second later…

Unfortunately, we had to alter the rules a bit. If it wasn't for Pein-sama's mandate that we couldn't be too sadistic--against the other members, anyways--it would've had more possibilities. Regardless, we started on Itachi and Kisame's room this time. When we walked in, Kisame and Itachi looked up at us; Itachi's face was blank and Kisame's was appalled.  
"Hello boys," I said, masochistically. "Ready to play?"  
"No," they both said, Itachi much more nonchalant than Kisame.  
"Well, you're going to anyways. Okay, so we are going to dare you to do something. If you don't, we are allowed to do whatever we want to do with you, as long as it's within Pein's rules."  
"No."  
"First dare," Sapphire smiled. "Itachi-kun, go throw Kisame-kun off a treetop. One of the ones behind the 'backyard.'"  
Itachi's eyes widened a millimeter. Kisame got extremely pale.  
Itachi sat for a while and then led Kisame to towards the backyard.  
"Um, Itachi…" Kisame's eyes widened. "Itachi?"  
The girls and I followed eagerly.  
Itachi took Kisame up to one of the tallest trees, that was about 3 stories tall, and dropped him off of it.  
Kisame screamed.  
We stared in awe.  
"He really did it!" I grinned.  
Konan made a trampoline out of her paper but Kisame never reached it. Just before he reached the paper trampoline he went back upward towards Itachi where Itachi caught him.  
I realized Itachi had used fine wires to pull Kisame back up.  
Then, with Kisame still in his arms, he jumped to the ground and put him down.  
We clapped.  
"Are you okay, Kisame," Itachi nonchalantly asked his pale partner.  
"Y-yes," Kisame managed.  
"Good."  
"Itachi?"  
"Yes?"  
"I think I peed my pants."  
Us girls burst out laughing.  
Itachi sighed.  
With this we ran off to find Zetsu.

* * *

Zetsu was not very happy to see us. Neither one of his sides.  
"What do you want?" he growled.  
"We have a dare for you, so shut up," Rekkami snapped.  
"Dare?"  
"Yes. Katsu-chan? Sapphire-san?"  
I ushered Sapphire towards Zetsu. Zetsu was slightly frightening to me.  
Sapphire knew this and approached Zetsu alone. "So, Zetsu-kun. Our dare is, to bite every male member on the premises. Not eat, but bite."  
"And you can't bite or eat my Izuru," I added.  
"No," Zetsu's white side said.  
"Not in a million years," his black side snapped. "You little freaks."  
Sasazuka and Rekkami twitched.  
A second later a huge struggle between Sasazuka, Rekkami and Zetsu was going on.  
In the end, Zetsu ended up in a huge pot.  
That's right; they planted him.  
For safety precautions they put a seal on the pot.  
Both of Zetsu's sides shouted profanity at us.  
"Shut it, or you get the weed killer," Sasazuka threatened holding up a bottle of Roundup.  
Zetsu shut up.  
We all headed for Kakuzu and Hidan's room laughing.

_**A/N: That's all for part one. I hope you all enjoyed. Thanks for reading. "Hai" means 'yes' in Japanese.**_


	6. Sapphire and Dare Part 2, Girly Ambition

**_I do not own Naruto but I DO own all the OCs excluding Sapphire. Sapphire is owned by Sapphire X Dreams._**

"My toys are seemingly in good shape," I laughed evilly as we stepped into Hidan and Kakuzu's room.  
Hidan and Kakuzu tensed.  
"That's not nice, Katsu-chan," Konan scolded playfully.  
"And?" I asked.  
"Katsu-chan isn't 'nice,' I don't think," Sapphire said.  
I cackled my favorite "kukuku" torture laugh before approaching Hidan and Kakuzu.  
"So boys," I started.  
"Get out of the room," Kakuzu said firmly. "Now."  
"As if. Anyways, we're playing dare. Let's see what we can dare you two to do."  
"Ooh, ooh!" Mimiko started jumping. "Remember you told us the results of your and Meco-chan's questionnaire?"  
"Yeah. Why?"  
"Well maybe we could do something with those results."  
"Results…oh! You mean--!"  
"I do _not_PMS!" Hidan snapped.  
"Denial before accused," Konan said. "A sign of lying."  
"I'm a _boy_!"  
"I dunno," I said giggling. "Does anyone here know for sure?"  
Everyone shook their heads.  
"Guys!" Hidan groaned.  
Then I got an idea.  
I whispered to the other girls; Konan, Mimiko and Sasazuka left and came back with a few hammers.  
"What are you doing?" Kakuzu asked.  
"Okay, here comes the dare," I smiled.  
"And if you don't agree to it…" Sapphire said.  
"We'll destroy your most prized possessions!" We finished in unison.  
Kakuzu and Hidan looked up; Mimiko and Sasazuka were holding hammers over Hidan's Jashin shrine and in the corner Konan had mixed paper with Kakuzu's money. Rekkami was forming a fireball with her Fire Style jutsu.  
Hidan and Kakuzu screamed.  
"Wait, now," Kakuzu said. "We don't need to go there."  
"Okay," I said. "Then do the dare."  
"…Fine," they said.  
"Okay!" Sapphire clapped her hands together. "Kakuzu, give us each 500 yen."  
"What?!" Kakuzu looked pale.  
"I think giving us each 500 yen is much more reasonable than having half of all your money burned," Rekkami tossed and caught the fireball in her hand.  
Kakuzu slowly picked up the money and gave it to us.  
"That wasn't too hard, was it?" I smiled.  
Kakuzu puked.  
"I think it was hard for him," Konan said, smiling.  
I laughed and then turned to Hidan. "Now for you…"  
Hidan tensed.  
I went up and whispered into his ear.  
"What?!" he screamed. "No."  
"Do it," I insisted. "Or the shrine goes."  
"…Ugh! Fine!"  
Hidan walked into the hallway as we watched.  
Then he screamed, "I am a total girly-girl! I love make-up, adorable boy bands and shopping! And I love dressing up in pretty skirts and dresses in my room!"  
Then he came back in, dove on his futon and covered his head with his pillow.  
We could already hear everyone else laughing and we did too. Kakuzu probably would have found it funny as well if he wasn't too busy trembling in the corner.  
Poor thing…as if I meant that.  
Now we ran off to find Pein.

* * *

In Pein's office…

"You want me to do what?!" Pein yelled.  
"It's not so bad," Sapphire said.  
"No!"  
"Pein," Konan stepped forward. "They're just having a little fun."  
Pein massaged his temples and then sighed. "Okay."  
He walked out into the living room and we followed him.  
"Attention everybody!" he called. "I--I just wanted to say that…I would like to play tea party and if anyone wants to play with me, please come out at 6 p.m. later on!"  
Us girls were now desperately trying to restrain out laughs; none of the boys did.

* * *

Now, it was time for me to keep my promise to Sapphire and save her Deidara for last.  
We headed to Deidara and Tobi's room. As I had suspected, Sasori was there too.  
"Hi guys!" I yelled. "Like my rhyme, at least, this time?"  
"Very funny," Sasori rolled his eyes.  
"You first then," I said.  
Sasori groaned.  
"Sasori," I said, calmly. " I want you to--"  
I began to whisper in his ear.  
"Seriously?" Sasori's eyes widened. "Okay."  
Sasori walked over to Deidara and said, "Like, ZOMG, why does your hair look like that?!"  
Deidara looked like he'd seen a UFO. "Danna, un?"  
"It's so, like, blowy. Like, how long do you have to go to the salon for that? And what brand of eyeliner is that? I want some! Wait, ZOMG! You are totally trying to be Ashley or Brittany or something."  
Deidara's jaw fell open.  
Sasori had to laugh. "Okay, I actually enjoyed that. His face was too funny."  
"That was so great!" Rekkami said.  
"You liked it that much?"  
"Yeah. I got it on tape."  
Sasori's eyes widened. "You did not just--"  
"I so did," Rekkami held up the camera.  
She gave the camera to Izuru who was at the door.  
"Thanks for helping," I said.  
Izuru shrugged and ran off. Sasori took off after him.  
"Now," I said. "Sapphire-chan, you can go ahead and proceed."  
Sapphire glomped Deidara, "Dei-kun! I am so happy you're all better now!"  
"Um, Sapphire-senpai," Tobi said.  
"Yes," Sapphire replied giddily.  
"Tobi doesn't think Sapphire-senpai should be hugging Deidara-senpai."  
"Why not?"  
"Because Deidara-senpai likes the girl at that bar we pass on the way through the city."  
"He what?"  
Suddenly, Sapphire looked as if she was glowing red. She whispered in Tobi's ear and then turned to Deidara.  
"Deidara, your dare is to let Tobi do as he pleases," she said.  
"What, un?" Deidara asked.  
Then Tobi jumped on Deidara and began giving him a wedgie. "Sorry Senpai."  
Deidara screeched like a little girl.  
"Get all the payback you need," Sapphire grinned.  
Tobi pulled out a hammer. "Okay!"  
Deidara began running. "No, no, no, no, un!"  
We all laughed as we watched Deidara and Tobi run off.  
"That's everyone," I said. "Wasn't that fun?!"  
Everyone agreed.  
"Now I must attend to other matters," Sapphire said, heading for the door.  
Then she turned, with hearts in her eyes, and yelled, "I'll be back Deidara-kun!"  
I grinned.  
Typical Sapphire.  
And then I began to think what other adventures were to come.  
Look out boys!

* * *

Preview: My totally energetic, skilled, music-loving friend comes over completely ready to play torture.

* * *

**_A/N: Thanks for reading people! Please keep coming back! A picture of Sapphire is now at the, um, almost-bottom of my profile. Oh! And, I have NOTHING against Ashley Tisdale or Brittany Spears. I just named the first two blonde stars that came into my head. X) _**


	7. Jess and the Random Game

**_I do not own Naruto, but I DO own my OCs. Jess Fenikkusu is property of Kakashi Forever._**

It was a Saturday, and, of course, I had nothing to do. I was just laying on my bed looking at the ceiling (though it was relaxing). I was going to have to ask Pein to try to make our weekends more eventful. I mean, we don't have to rob a bank or anything but still. Or maybe we do. We _are_ S-rank criminals.

As I was pondering the matter, my phone beeped.

I rolled onto my side and grabbed my cell phone off my bedside table.

I answered the phone. "Yeah?"

"'Sup, Katsuki-chan!" a female voice said.

At first I was confused. "Who's this? And how did you get my number?"

"It's me!" the girl said. "You know, Jess 'Fenikkusu?'"

Oh! Now I knew who it was. And I was starting to get some very ingenious thoughts.

"J-chan!" I said coolly. "'Sup! You should totally come over."

"Now?" Jess asked.

"Yup. And brings some tunes. One's we can use. Capiche?"

"Oh! Okay! See you in a bit!"

We hung up.

I gave the peace sign. "Score."

* * *

Not long after making the call, Jess made her big entrance. No really. She really succeeded in making a big entrance because she came through the air vent. To our advantage, me and Izuru were the only ones in the living room at that time.

"Hey Katsuki-chan," she greeted happily.

Jess had elbow length black hair and gold eyes.

"Nice entrance," I commented.

"Pein-sama would kill me otherwise, wouldn't he?" Jess noted.

"But aren't you technically a member?"

"Not a very liked one. Thanks to you."

I smirked. She had a point. Thanks to my capability of dragging most all my friends into wacky situations that made the male Akatsuki members form bad opinions. If it wasn't for the fact I was so good at my job I'm sure Pein would've fired me by now.

"So did you bring the tunes?" I asked.

"Yup," Jess held up an iPod speaker base that had her iPod she had named 'Jakkuru' in it. "I also bought _those_ things. Y'know the ones from that Kirigakure mission?"

"Oh your thinking is spot on today, J-chan."

Izuru got up from the couch. "Okay, now I'm curious. What are you two scheming?"

I whispered a few things to Jess and then turned back to my inquisitive boyfriend.

"You'll see," I smiled.

Then Jess crawled back into the air vents. I moved the furniture to make space in the center of the room. Then I started working with some paper.

"I still don't get it," Izuru said. "All I see is what looks like arts and crafts."

"S-rank criminals don't do arts and crafts," I laughed.

"Deidara does."

"Touche."

* * *

A small while later Jess was back and ready to go. She bounced giddily. I called everyone, excluding Pein into the room.

"Hi guys!" Jess grinned.

Once the boys caught sight of Jess they attempted to back out.

"Don't even think about it," I said.

"Why not, un?" Deidara challenged.

Jess pulled out a remote and pressed the button on it.

Suddenly a huge shock electrocuted Deidara.

"Jess planted electrocution chips on you guys," I explained. "We can take them off you but you'll have to do something for that. And I wouldn't suggest trying to take them off by yourselves."

As I said that, Hidan was already being shocked.

"Now you tell us," he growled.

Itachi stepped forward. "So what are you requesting?"

"You have to play a game," Jess explained. "You just sit over there in the middle of the living room. We have two groups. A 'girls and boyfriend' group and an 'everyone else' group. You guys in the 'everyone else' group have to randomly draw a piece of paper from a hat and have to do whatever is written on the hat. It's called the 'Random Game: The Music Edition!'"

The boys hesitated.

"I wonder if it's better to be shocked?" Kisame pondered aloud.

I fake coughed. "Wimp."

"Fine, we'll do it."

A second later we were all sitting on the floor.

"So what makes this, 'The Music Edition?'" Zetsu asked.

"Because we girls get to play songs whenever we see fit," I answered, nodding towards the iPod speaker base.

The boys groaned in displeasure.

"Okay, who goes first?" Jess asked.

"Itachi-kun," I replied.

Itachi reached into the hat and pulled out a piece of paper.

He read it aloud, "Have your partner dye your hair pink."

Itachi twitched.

"Ooh, you got the special double challenge," Jess giggled.

Sasazuka got up and left to get something from her room. When she came back, she had a container of pink hair die.

"I won this in some raffle drawing," she said. "I wondered how I'd use it."

She handed it to Kisame.

Kisame smiled his toothy grin. "Well, it's no good to disobey orders."

Itachi looked at Kisame for a second…and then ran.

Kisame chased Itachi as he dodged around the room. No one had any idea how but they ended up going in a full circle.

Jess laughed, taking notice and pushed a button on her iPod. At that moment Flo Rida and Ke$ha's rendition of _Right Round_ blasted from the speakers.

That caught Kisame off guard and he tripped. The container fell and burst and pink hair dye flew all over the both of them. They both ended up with pink hair.

Everyone snickered.

"Smooth move Kisame-kun," I remarked.

Itachi was apparently pissed at Kisame because he used his tsukiyomi on him right then and then left to go try to wash the dye out his own hair.

"Okay!" I said, ready to get back to the game. "Who's next? Jess, you pick."

"Hmm, how about…Sasori-kun?"

Sasori pulled a piece of paper out the hat and read aloud, "Await further instruction from Katsuki."

Sasori glared at me.

"I haven't even done anything yet," I rolled my eyes. "This one's easy."

I reached into a nearby stack of paper and whispered to Jess. Then I gave the piece of paper to Sasori. It was a picture. A picture of Orochimaru after a makeover. As soon as the picture reached Sasori's hand, Jess turned on Michael Jackson's _Thriller_.

Sasori screamed when he caught site of the picture and then fainted.

"Sasori-kun!" Jess fake-scolded. "You fainted before I was done listening to the music."

We fell into evil laughter.

I was a bit disappointed that he fainted so fast. No one had any idea how hard it was for me and Jess to get our hands on that picture.

I didn't need to be too disappointed yet though. We still had other members to torture...

**_A/N: Thanks for reading part 1. :D Part 2 should be coming soon! If you have any idea, PM me, or of you're an anon reviewer, just put your ideas in a review. Arigato gozaimasu! _**


End file.
